3/4/2018 0 Comments All About: Coping StrategiesMs. Cox here! I thought I'd take some time to talk about one of my favorite things to teach students about. Learning to use coping strategies when dealing with less-than-pleasant situations is a skill students can use for the rest of their lives! Let's dive in.
What are coping strategies? A coping strategy is any technique used to minimize stress. These techniques can range from physical actions to adjusting the way we think about a problem. In school counseling, we focus on choosing safe and appropriate strategies that help us feel better when we're experiencing any unpleasant emotion. Typically, coping strategies school counselors teach students involve a combination of physical actions (for example: walking away, squeezing a stress ball, or deep breathing) and adjusting our thinking (for example: positive self-talk, using empathy skills, or putting the problem in perspective). Some effective coping strategies will also capitalize on the child's active imagination: for example, you may hear us encouraging students to think about their favorite memory or "press the pause button" on negative thoughts. How are coping strategies taught? We teach coping strategies in whole-class settings, in small groups, and one-on-one. For example, we may teach whole-class coping strategies for dealing with peer conflict, because that is an experience almost all students will encounter. We may teach coping strategies related to school-related test stress in a small group, because while that experience is not universal, many students experience it. We may teach or reinforce coping strategies on an individual level when the student is facing a unique challenge or needs more assistance understanding and applying the strategies. How can I help my child use coping strategies? Model! I always encourage parents and guardians to model safe and effective coping strategies for their children. To make what you're doing even more clear, you can "narrate" the coping strategy. For example, you can say something like "I am feeling very stressed from work today. Let's go on a walk! Exercise always helps me feel better." Yes, it can feel a little unnatural to speak this way, but it shows kids that adults have to deal with stress, anger, and sadness in healthy ways, too. Speaking of stress, anger, and sadness: these feelings are okay to have. Validate your child's emotion. If a friend said unkind words to them at school, you can say "I bet that really hurt your feelings. I know it would hurt mine. What can you do to feel better right now? And what can you do to make the problem smaller tomorrow?" (A problem-solving strategy in this scenario may involve taking the friend aside and telling them how their words made you feel--in a calm way, of course!) One last tip... For so many adults, our coping strategies for dealing with stress may be ones we don't want our kids to mimic completely. How many of us scroll through our social media feeds in an attempt to escape the day? Or tune into reality TV to relax? I know I do this sometimes. It's okay! You don't have to be perfect. Consider ways to be open and honest about how "screen time" can help make us feel better to a point, but can then create its own problems if we indulge in it too much.
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